Clearing up common myths about borderline personality disorder

Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a highly stigmatized and often misunderstood mental health condition that affects millions of adults in the United States. Media portrayals frequently misrepresent BPD—Angelina Jolie’s character in Girl Interrupted or Glen Close’s character in Fatal Attraction—contributing to harmful stereotypes and social stigma for those living with the disorder. This Borderline Personality Disorder Awareness Month, we’re fact-checking some of the most persistent myths about BPD to promote greater understanding, awareness, and compassion.

What is borderline personality disorder?

BPD is a mental health condition characterized by unstable moods, behaviors, and relationships. It often starts in childhood or adolescence, and people who live with it may face challenges with self-image, self-worth, self-doubt, and fear of abandonment or rejection.

To better understand the condition and how it affects people, let’s take a closer look at some of the most common myths about BPD:

1. Myth: BPD is untreatable
   
   Decades ago, it was believed that because a person can’t change their personality, a personality disorder could not be effectively treated. However, we’ve since learned that’s not true. According to the National Education Alliance for Borderline Personality Disorder (NEABPD), research finds that outcomes for people living with BPD can be positive, especially if they’re involved in treatment.
   
   McLean Hospital, the largest psychiatric affiliate of Harvard Medical School, has conducted dozens of studies following patients with BPD. They found that “BPD is the most treatable major mental health condition” and that “patients who receive proper treatment, namely psychotherapy, can go on to live healthy, productive lives.”
   
   
2. Myth: BPD is rare
   
   While it’s true BPD is not as common as mental health conditions such as depression or anxiety, it’s far from rare. According to McLean Hospital, it’s estimated more than 14 million Americans live with BPD. NEABPD reports it’s more common than both schizophrenia and bipolar disorder combined.
   
   
3. Myth: BPD is caused by bad parenting
   
   The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) explains that the development of BPD is likely influenced by several factors, including genetics, environment, and differences in brain function.
   
   While people who experience childhood trauma may have a higher risk of developing BPD, not everyone with BPD has experienced trauma. Though we have not identified a “BPD gene,” research suggests that people who have a close family member with BPD may be at greater risk of developing the condition.
   
   Some research also points to neurological differences. The brain systems involved in emotional regulation may function differently in people with BPD, which may contribute to some of the associated emotional and behavioral symptoms.
   
   
4. Myth: People with BPD are manipulative
   
   People with BPD are not inherently manipulative. Many behaviors described as manipulative are attempts to cope with overwhelming emotions, fear of abandonment, or intense distress. People with BPD tend to experience emotions intensely and may struggle with regulating them, not because they want to control others, but because they’re trying to manage pain.
   
   
5. Myth: People with BPD are incapable of forming healthy relationships
   
   Lots of people with BPD can have healthy, loving, long-term relationships. Though BPD can cause emotional intensity and relationship instability, those challenges can be overcome through a combination of self-awareness, good communication, and proper treatment.
   
   Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) is the current gold standard for BPD treatment. Developed by Marsha Linehan, an American psychologist who lives with BPD, DBT teaches skills to help people stay present, manage emotions, handle stress, and build healthier relationships.

While myths about BPD persist, the reality is that people living with it are individuals navigating a complex mental health condition, often while facing misunderstanding and stigma. Increasing awareness and challenging misinformation can help create a more compassionate environment where people feel supported in seeking treatment and understanding.

If you’re a member of Mass General Brigham Health Plan and need behavioral health care related to BPD, you can find resources through Optum or Lyra, depending on your plan. You can also use our Find a Doctor tool to find a provider who treats BPD by logging into Member.MGBHP.org.